“Charlie, I need you to turn off the TV and head upstairs to do homework!”
No response. Repeat the command. No response. Repeat the command. Take away the remote control and turn off the TV yourself.
Charlie now responds: “I hate you! You’re so mean! I was almost finished!”
Charlie is now kicking, screaming and crying. Mom tries to comfort him and then tries to handle the situation by threatening to take away privileges. But his behavior only escalates. The meltdown goes on for two long hours.
Have you ever considered adding to your family through adoption?
Through adoption, you can welcome a child into your heart, home and family. It’s the chance to fulfill your dreams of parenthood and the chance to change the life of a child in need. And here in Illinois and around the world, many children are waiting for loving, stable homes.
As a psychotherapist, I often find myself “defending” my vocation. Why? Society as a whole continues to view therapy as negative. If you’re in therapy, there must be something wrong with you. If you’re in therapy, you must be “crazy.” If you’re in therapy, you must have had a bad childhood. If you’re in therapy, you must not know how to handle your own problems. If you’re in therapy, you’re weak. I would challenge this thought process by simply stating that it takes a pretty strong person to pick up the phone and ask for help.
As an experienced child welfare social worker who provides adoption counseling and therapy, I find that one of the greatest neglected areas of adoption services is post adoption services. I’m not referencing the mandatory post adoption visits that occur after placement. I’m talking about the services that families need down the road, when the going gets rough. When the adopted child’s friends who said they were always going to be there have moved on, either physically or emotionally. When family members are exhausted trying to help, but no longer know what advice to give anymore. When your child’s school tells you that they have done all that they can do, and have utilized all of their resources. When you are doing your best, but feel like you’re failing every day. When your current therapist suggests that maybe your child’s behavioral issues are connected to adoption, and you may want to seek help from a professional experienced in that area.